Modern Software Experience

Amlie
v. to amlie is to misrepresent Amglish, a particular dialect of English, as English, a language with many dialects. Amlie is a portmanteau word of Amglish and lie.
n. an amlie is an amlying statement.
Example usage: Microsoft often claims to support English as one of the first languages for new releases of their operating systems, but that is an amlie, it does not support English, it supports Amglish only.
v. Begging others to link to you.
Example usage: Using a bookmark ribbon is considered to be begging for links.
Beta launch
1. n. Launch of a beta payload. Extremely rare event.
2. n. Launch of a payload called Beta.
3. n. Nonsensical marketroid-speak. Proper English: Beta release.
Cf. product launch.
blog spam
n Blog spam (not be confused with blog comment spam) is a blog post that serves a commercial purpose, including but not limited to advertisements (some blogs do this), advertorials, press releases and posts about special offers and sales. Blogs that contain blog spam may be referred to as spam blogs.
bookmark ribbon
n. A ribbon of icon or text links to social bookmarking sites, commonly found below blog posts.
First used in Social Bookmarking Overload.
brainbreezing
v. Brainbreezing is attempting to brainstorm with intelligence- and originality-challenged brains.
Example usage: Techies brainstorm, marketroids brainbreeze.
broken by lack of design
expr. A product is broken by design when it has deliberately been created to become obsolete, break down after a relatively small period of time or simply not work in certain scenarios, e.g. those involving products from competing vendors. When systemic failure to work is not deliberate, the product is not broken by design at all, but actually broken by lack of design; the product could have worked right if someone involved its creation had had enough forethought to actually bother and spent some time on a design compatible with common usage scenarios.
collection bot
n. A collection bot is bot that collects data to amass a collection. This contrasts with search bots, which collect data to create a search index.
Introduced in Internet Biographical Collection to correctly describe and categorise Ancestry.com's MyFamilyBot.
dumbphone
n. A dumbphone is an ostensible smartphone that has been dumbed down by a painfully slow and unnecessarily hard to use operating system, such as Windows Mobile.
Digital Restriction Management
n. The Free Software Foundations's acronym-preserving and technically correct alternative to the misleading term Digital Rights Managements.
fankid
n. Gender-neutral alternative for fanboy.
First Law of Reality Distortion
n. The First Law of Reality Distortion is:
if Steve Jobs says so, it is true. Steve Jobs is insanely great.
Posed in The Three Laws of Reality Distortion.
francopusher
n. Organisation or individual who abuses political, voting and veto power to push the French language into international organisations, demanding that it be given the same standing as English.
francorule
n. Rule that formally or effectively demands the use of French, or the ability to read, write and speak French in otherwise international organisations.
francovictim
n. Organisation that has fallen victim to francopushers by introducing francorules. These rules tend to have a negative impact on their efficiency and the ability to attract international personnel.
frenched up
adj. An abbreviation or acronym is frenched up when it is deliberately wrong, so that it fits neither the English or the French abbreviation, just to please the Francopushers in the organisation. The best known frenched up abbreviation is UTC for Coordinated Universal Time.
iad
n. Custom device for running up credit card charges through the Apple iTunes store.
First tweeted on 2010-04-04.
Internet Explorer dogma
n. The dated dogma that each web site should support Internet Explorer.
Truth is that Internet Explorer should support each web site.
First used in Intranet Explorer isn’t a web browser.
Intranet Explorer
n. A much better, and acronym-preserving name for the product that Microsoft markets as Internet Explorer, the fact that it does not support the web. Even IE version 8 still completely lack support for major web standards such as XHTML and SVG, still does not fully support PNG, and still features rather limited support for CSS and (X)HTML 5.
This replacement name is in fairly common usage. First usage unknown.
leet
n. Non-leet. Leet is an actually entirely meaningless word used by wannabes to claim that they are elite (’leet), apparently utterly unaware that their usage of this word actually brands them as incredibly clueless noobs.
legacy code
n. Any code written before you joined.
Linux weenie
n. a Linux fankid who keeps whining that Linux is better than everything else because Linux is better than everything else, ignores all evidence to the contrary, and brands everyone who disagrees as a clueless noob.
Cf. Windows weenie.
Linux hardware support method
Always claim that Linux runs on any old hardware. Then, when it does not, indignantly claim that you cannot realistically expect it to run on that particular bit of hardware - really now, everyone knows that - and that you really need to replace that junk. If you do not buy junk this time, Linux runs on the replacement. Q.E.D.
Cf. OS/2 hardware support method
macroblog
n. Common blog, i.e. not a microblog.
First used in Twitter is for microblogging.
macrotweet
n. whimsical reference to blog post.
First used in Twitter is for microblogging.
marketroid
n. marketing droid.
marketroid-speak
n. Nonsensical terminology employed by marketroids, who suffer the delusion that using it makes them sound cool and important.
marketroism
n. A marketroid truism. In other words, something they tell themselves, and only they and their fankids believe, despite all evidence to the contrary.
Canonical examples: Apple’s speed claims and Microsoft’s "The Wow is now" slogan for their Windows Vista marketing campaign.
Microsoft Metal Mania
n. Microsoft Metal Mania is Microsoft’s infatuation with metal in product names such as IronPython, IronRuby and Silverlight.
microtroid
n. Microsoft marketroid.
nuup
n. Überleet spelling of noob, typically used to put down noobs who keep calling others noobs, as in: OMG! U r suts a nuup, u kant evan spel nuup rite. Use of nuup is rather noobish.
OS/2 hardware support method
Always claim that OS/2 runs on any old hardware. Then, when it does not, indignantly claim that you cannot realistically expect it to run on that particular bit of hardware - really now, everyone knows that - and that you really need to replace that junk. If you do not buy junk this time, OS/2 runs on the replacement. Q.E.D.
Cf. Linux hardware support method
Palm
n. Read-Only Variable. Refers to whatever company currently owns the Palm brand.
Patch Tuesday
n. Microsoft-speak for Patch Wednesday.
Patch Wednesday
n. Patch Wednesday is the first Wednesday after the Second Tuesday of the Month. Microsoft saves up patches for release on that day.
product launch
1. n. What happens when a product becomes payload.
2. n. Nonsensical marketroid-speak. Proper English: product introduction.
Cf. beta launch.
permatitle
n. An article title that is a permalink to that article.
First used in Permalink Best Practice.
Second Law of Reality Distortion
n. The Second Law of Reality Distortion is:
If Apple P.R. says so, it is true, unless it conflicts with the first law. They are usually repeating Steve Jobs, in which case the First Law applies.
Posed in The Three Laws of Reality Distortion.
significant whitespace
n. insignificant indentation. All arguments about significant whitespace are meritless; any value other than four spaces is barbaric blasphemy.
smart short linking
n. Simple but effective technique for quoting tweets without the disadvantages of short links; use the original tweet with the original link.
See Smart Short Linking.
snailtacular
n. Spectacularly slow. Inspired by the utter lack of performance displayed by TMG importing a file.
First used in Review of The Master Genealogist Version 7.
softicide
n. software suicide; good software that kills itself through excessive featuritis, massive memory hunger, greedy CPU cycle consumption, defective upgrades and painfully slow add-ons.
Third Law of Reality Distortion
n. The Third Law of Reality Distortion is:
If an Apple fankid says so, it is true, unless it conflicts with the second or first law. They are usually repeating Apple P.R., in which case the Second Law applies.
Posed in The Three Laws of Reality Distortion.
Wicopydia
n. a site that consist of content copied from the Wikipedia.
Introduced in WorldHistory to describe FamilyLink's WorldHistory.com. A more recent but better known example of a wicopydia is The Full Wiki introduced in 2010 Jan.
Windows 2010
n. The most likely non-aspirational name for the successor to Windows Vista, which Microsoft is currently calling Windows 7, despite the fact that it is the eleventh major version and will have a 6.1 version number.
See Windows 6.1 is now Windows 7.
Windows weenie
n. a Windows fankid who keeps whining that Windows is better than everything else because Windows is better than everything else, ignores all evidence to the contrary, and brands everyone who disagrees as a clueless noob.
Cf. Linux weenie.